Blisters and rope burn

I'm not sure of anything lately. I'm not sure where I am going or why I struggle with the things I do. What am I supposed to be learning in all of this??? I've been praying lately. A lot. I pray for clarity, and to get back the motivation that so frustratingly seems just beyond my grasp. I pray for resources to come my way that will open doors for me to once again become passionate and continue this journey to a better me. I stayed home sick today as I seem to have a bit of a flu bug. I literally was laying in bed not more than 5 minutes ago, and prayed for inspiration to blog about something that would motivate me and yet be inspiring to others.
I have been slipping back in to old habits. I am eating like crap, thus making me feel like crap, and sleep like crap, and ultimately comparing myself to a piece of crap. But as I was laying on my bed, praying quietly in the silence for an epiphany, a thought came to me. This journey that I am on is like climbing a rope. (Goodness I hate rope climbing. I always stayed home sick on those days in gym class. Telling my teachers I had cramps was far less humiliating than trying to climb a rope in front of my peers...seriously) Anyhow, for those of you who are experts on rope climbing, bare with me for a second, and for those of you who can relate, pay close attention because this is where the magic happens. A weight loss journey is like climbing a rope. Imagine standing on the ground starring up into the abyss. The climb seems daunting. That is exactly how I felt almost a year ago at the beginning. I had so much weight to lose and the thought of achieving that goal seemed impossible. I literally had nothing to lose anyway, as my alternative was suicide, so what the heck, right? Might as well give it try. And as I started climbing the ladder of weight loss success, it felt great. But along with climbing, comes slipping. Sometimes you lose your grip as you head for the top and you back slide. It's normal. I'm in a season of slipping and my grip is far from tight. I feel as though I have even let go of the rope, and I am plummeting full speed to the bottom. I have gained weight, and I feel miserable. But, with that said, as I lay in bed just a little bit ago and the rope climbing analogy hit me, I heard a voice say, "just grab the damn rope, Kate!!" You don't have to fall all the way to the bottom again to start over, just grab the rope and keep climbing. It's so easy to say, tomorrow I will start again, or Monday I will start again. I am notorious for procrastinating, but dammit, the time is NOW. Right this very second, because I know all too well, tomorrow never comes. But the weight sure does. It comes fast and furious and the horrible self loathing thoughts and self destructive patterns that come with it are devastating. It's not easy to just "buck up" and keep going. For those of you who struggle with what I'm talking about, you know. It's hard. SO hard. But come with me. CLIMB with me. The emotional blisters and rope burns will heal, and you will be so glad you did. That, my friends, I am sure of.
So today, although I feel my grip is shaky, I will grab the rope and hold on like hell. I will give it my all to start again. Inch by inch I will regain what I've lost, and I will keep going. This journey never ends and learning to push through the set backs is key. I will focus on pushing through instead of beating myself up for backsliding. So, the journey continues....thankfully.