Sticks and Stones...

You know how the old saying goes..."Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me." It's something I heard in my childhood a lot. Kids said it all the time when others were verbally assaulting them. But really, I would like to find the creator of this phrase, and throw down the B.S. card. Words do hurt. Sometimes, more than a kick in the face with a golf shoe. Here is an example. Every year, when the circus comes to town, I groan a little bit. Who doesn't love the circus? I used to as a child go with my family every year and I LOVED it! All the smells and sights and sounds were exhillerating! Well, fast forward to my freshman year in high school. A group of 10 or so kids were standing around and we were making plans to go to the circus that night. One kid, who I think was trying to be funny, said outloud the following, "yeah...and to save money, instead of riding the elephants, we can just ride Kate!" It was like time stopped at that moment. I was crushed, humiliated and heartbroken. How could someone be so cruel? In many ways I still stand in that hallway frozen in time with his words echoing in my mind. I tell myself that I am an elephant. I tell myself that I am not worthy, and I have no idea why people like me. I am sure I am not the only one who has had horrible things said to them, but my point is that my freshman year was 16 years ago and I still carry that with me as tho it were yesterday. Now, I remained "friends" with that kid for the duration of my high school career, even after our senior year when he said "Kate, if you weren't so fat, you would be the prettiest girl in school" to which I said "I know". These are the kinds of demons I need to shake, to send flying into the depths of the earth. They don't have a place in my heart anymore, because even tho "sticks and stones may break my bones, your rotten words have the potential to crush my spirit forever..."