The transparency of my secret

It's always in the quiet moments that I find myself struggling the most. When I am at home, by myself in the peace and quiet, that is when the raging waters of fear, doubt, self hatred and negative thoughts over take me. Why then? What is significant about being "alone" that triggers this on-set of self destructive behavior. I literally think to myself (with some mild exaggeration here)," go ahead, eat 3 bowls of cereal, two cheeseburgers, 2 gallons of ice cream, 99 M&M's, and a partridge in a pear tree...who the hell is going to know?" I always think, "it will be my little secret". I can lie to myself all I want, but the reality is that it's never really a secret at all. It's spelled out loud and clear by the excess weight on my body.  If  overeating really could be a "secret" I would weigh 145 pounds everyday for the rest of my life, never gaining a pound! Someone at work once said to me "it looks like you eat healthy when your here at work, so, man...you really must eat A LOT when you are home!" ....Why thank you for that observation Captain Obvious! Yes, the truth hurts...home is where I do a lot of my eating, and that, my friends may just be a secret worth looking into.